literature

Wine me, Dine me

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Literature Text

Till frowned as he looked at the closed apartment door, tilting his head with an expression of concern as Richard swore from inside. Something was wrong.

"Richard?" Till asked after opening the door, frowning as the sound of domestic clatter came from the kitchen.

"You're early!" Richard sounded flustered.

"Tut mir leid, I can go if it's a b-"

"No, it's fine. Go sit at the table, I'll be just a minute." Richard briskly walked out of the kitchen, a white apron tied on over his black slacks and button up shirt before he threw his arms around Till's neck with a quick kiss.

"Alright." Till smiled, kissing back and tilting his head fondly. "I like this."

"I hope you like everything else."

Till sat at the table, smiling as he took in the dark red cloth, two places set with gold rimmed white china. Richard clattered briefly about the kitchen again, making Till wonder what he was up to. The singer understood he hadn't been the easiest to get along with the past four months, not with strict dieting and exercise making him tired and a bit moody. Richard wasn't cold or distant at least, and simply seemed hyper-focused on whatever it was he was doing. The flat smelled incredible, and for now that was more than enough for Till to relax.

"I had to tweak the recipe a little bit, no potatoes and all." Richard, sans apron, was carefully carrying a platter with a large smoked trout on it, smiling weakly as he put it on the table before removing the oven mitts over his hands.

"Oh, Risch, you didn't have to. I'm allowed cheat meals and I'd have gladly used one for this." Till smiled and stood, touched by Richard's thoughtfulness as he pulled him into a hug.

"I wanted to, you've been trying and it's definitely been paying off." Richard hugged him back, nuzzling lightly into his neck after a kiss. "You look like you feel better, at least."

"Has it?" Till chuckled weakly, feeling ticklish from the light grit of Richard's faintly stubbly cheek against his neck. In answer Richard simply groped over his thick biceps, tilting his head as he slid his hands over the flat plane of his chest and down his trim sides.

"Of course it has, you're in better shape now than Live from Berlin."

"You too," Till smiled, brushing the backs of his fingers against one of the black spikes, "though I wish you'd stop tanning, it makes you look American."

Richard laughed, swatting against his chest and steering him back to his chair. "Let me get the salad, arschloch. Dessert is unhealthy, that can be your cheat."

"I look forward to it." Till smiled, marveling briefly at how good the trout looked surrounded by spears of asparagus with a light sauce drizzled over the stalks.

"Happy anniversary." Richard put the bowl of dark greens on the table and produced a bottle of red wine from behind his back, smiling and drawing a corkscrew from his pocket.

"You're a hopeless romantic."

"And you're an old curmudgeon. But I love you." Richard let the wine breathe while he portioned out fish, asparagus and salad to Till's plate first then his; filling the glasses halfway and looking much more relaxed.

"I love you too, Risch. This looks wonderful." Till squeezed his hand, smiling warmly and picking up his glass, "To you, for making me the happiest I've been in a long time."

"To us," Richard gently corrected, squeezing back and smiling, "because I feel the same."

"To us." Till echoed, clinking their glasses together before sipping the dark wine. Richard smiled, watching Till as he picked up his fork; neglecting his own food so he could see his reaction.

Till flicked his glance up, seeing Richard move casually as he picked up his silverware. I could have sworn he was just watching me. Stop being paranoid.

Fork in hand Till cut a corner off of the fish, using his knife for the asparagus and picking up both on his fork. Richard glanced over, watching before his mouth bent into a smile at Till's very content expression.

"Ist gut?"

"Fantastisch, I didn't know you cooked like this." Till gave him a genuine smile,  closing his eyes after getting another bite; chewing slowly to savor.

"I learned. I'm happy you're enjoying it." Richard smiled and started on his plate, letting the dinner pass in comfortable quiet with the occasional question of how he had done this or that with the fish and vegetables. Till was something of a cook himself and enjoyed it as another form of expression.

"It was wonderful, thank you again. You measured everything?"

"Your portion was about five hundred calories, but I told you dessert will ruin it." Richard grinned, one moment gesture following before he gathered their dishes.

Till smiled admiringly after him, finishing his wine and blinking as Richard came back with a small covered dish.

"Forgive me for blasphemy, but I thought it worked out quite well." Richard lifted the cover, showing what looked like a one-person cheesecake; though instead of ivory it was a lovely shade of orange with a dark brown marble throughout.

"Explain yourself." Till's tone was stern, expression curious as the plate was placed in front of him.

"Pumpkin cheesecake with dark chocolate?" Richard's faint upward tone indicated nerves, watching him worriedly for a reaction that wasn't positive.

"Come here."

Richard reluctantly walked to him, looking embarrassed before letting out a soft yelp as Till yanked him into his lap.

"Share?" Till purred, picking up the second fork and cutting a bite from the cheesecake.

"You first." Richard took the fork, smiling and spearing the bite before placing his hand under to catch any crumbs.

"Gladly." Till took the offer, smiling widely as the dense, fluffy texture began wilting in his mouth from body temperature alone.

"Happy one year."

"You too, Risch."

Kiss.
A Thank you and Challenge from :iconkimbk:. She was my 4000th page view, and has been inspiration to better myself as a fanficcer. She's normally my Beta reader, but as I wanted this to be a surprise there was no beta'ing, my apologies. I will remedy this soon.

She wanted a 1K (PRECISELY) fic of Till/Richard involving Richard cooking for Till, I just hope I delivered.
© 2012 - 2024 Edgirl
Comments11
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philosonica's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star: Impact

I promised a critique and it took so goddamn long but finally, HERE IT IS. > w < Given everything I've so far pointed out as your betareader, I'll be keeping those pointers in mind as I critique this - but at the same time, the fact that this was a word limit challenge will be respected. I do those all the time too and I know how finicky they can be! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/m/m…" width="15" height="15" alt=":meow:" title="Meow :3"/>

Vision: The determiner as to whether your work presents an idea, and whether it presents it well. I am going to say yes to both, and rank you highly for both as well; nothing in this work is unclear. That's a very important thing in fiction. I admire the descriptions of the setting and food (especially! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/m/m…" width="15" height="15" alt=":meow:" title="Meow :3"/>) and they are well executed without over or underdescribing. The relationship that Till and Richard share are also believable and flowing. For that, you gain five stars.

Originality: 'X cooks for Y' is admittedly not the most original idea in fiction - but then there are very limited ways as to how you can pull any idea off as it is, so this is a rather weak excuse. I more took into consideration the fact that yes, this is an 'X cooks for Y' fiction - but written under a strict word limit, upon which the range of fics like this one decrease significantly. And you achieved this by perfectly hitting the mark. Four and a half stars for this one.

Technique: As your betareader, this is the aspect of writing that I tend to help you out the most with. As it was not betaread, a few grammar mistakes and word choices that I would not have recommended are visible ('... with a dark brown marbled texture' is the structure I'd have recommended, and the same number of words as well, for example). Sometimes I felt as if there was almost too much dialogue and not enough scene establishing/description, but never to the extent of featureless planes of dialogue. But considering that you were under a word limit, that you are still fairly new to challenges like those and you tried to portray a scene of fair length under very restricted length also needs to be considered. And editing a wordcounted drabble is hideously difficult as it is because every single edit has to take into consideration the amount of words added/subtracted. So I would say you did incredibly well - four and a half stars.

Impact: And finally, the emotional part of artwork. You delivered. I asked a Tillchard piece where Richard cooks for Till and I asked that it be exactly 1000 words, and you wrote that exact thing and made it good. No complaints, impact-wise. Five stars.

I again apologize for the lateness of my critique; you are getting better, much better, and I am very impressed! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/h/h…" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart"/> Keep up the great work. I truly enjoyed this.